oh my lord i hate bug bites.
first i would like to congradulate momma hampster on her first litter of baby hampsters.
but i am not in a very good mood right now. my brother and i got in a fight and he ripped out my hair. and my cousin wants me to quit smoking so he is taking all the lighters and matches in the house away. i miss santa cruz.

im back....
i told you i wouldnt write much at home. but now im in another foriegn country, where internet access is more easily avaliable than in primitive santa cruz, california. today i hail from costa rica. and for all you fuckers who went on a most fasionable trip to costa rica last winter, saw a cloud forest, went to the beach, saw monkeys and stayed at an overpriced resort, fuck you for fucking up my country. this place used to be paradise and now it is barely recognizable to me. too many best western hotels and kfc drive throughs and lame resorts by the beach which demolished the placid rainforest and pristine beaches and all the fishies with your polutants. and now you think youre so cultured because you have traveled to a third world country. well, I WAS HERE FIRST, and please stop coming here because you are ruining all of my childhood memories.
anyway, if you havent been to costa rica, it isnt worth the trip (cause all you fuckers already ruined it), so dont bother.

yesterday i went to a pain doctor who inflicts intense pain on you to help you with childhood traumas and spiritual conflicts. you are supposed to feel refreshed and euphoric when you are done, but all i feel is bruises. especially cause i was really stubborn with the doctor. he wanted me to scream, and i didnt want to so i held it in, held it in, and he pushed harder and harder, and finally i burst out in a blood currdeling scream which sent all the patients in the waiting room running... i have to go see him again tomorrow and frankly im scared. dont know if i have ever felt pain like that before. the doctor describes it as getting surgery without anaesthesia. it sounds pretty crazy, but i kind of believe in it because of all the stuff the doctor knew about me. and also he has helped my other family members a lot.

i will let you know if i start feeling euphoric.

im writing from the transit lounge in the korean airport. i guess now im really a tranny (for all of you santa cruz natives)
im in korea for the world cup. arent you jealous cause i dont give a shit. (for all you latinos- i love my family the most)

its 3:43 in the morning and i cant sleep cause the dam mosquitos are eating me alive. i am a professional mosquito hunter.

sammy

puma

my dogs are so cool.

fuck you world, you and your crazy ways. im gonna blow you all up cause things really arent going my way. and its fucking hot here. i cant move all day cause it is just too dam hot to exert any energy whatsoever.
do people really dissapear? i think that is my biggest fear, just entirely dissapearing. dont know if i am scared of me dissapearing or other people. cause if everyone else dissapears i will feel bad about that earlier fuck the world remark.
let me get back to the whole china poo thing. did you know that chinese toddlers wear pants that have a hole cut around their asses and pee-pees? and whenever they have to do their buisness, they just squat and do it, without even removing their pants. kind of like dogs. i think it kind of defeats the purpose of pants, cause arent they really there to cover that stuff up? what if everyone wore pants like that, with their shit hanging out, so everyone would know how you sized up.

okay, its my last night in china. tomorrow i board korean air. and i get to stop in korea during the world cup. but fuck man i am going to have to sit through wednesday twice cause of this dam time zone thing. it just doesnt make sense that i can fuck with time like that and have it be daylight the entire time on the plane. too long of a day.

so it looks like things are not going to go as planned when i get home. #1-my car has a flat tire so i wont be able to drive over to santa cruz the night i get home and make it to the microphones show. #2-my boyfriend has been missing for 4 days. i dont need to go beyond that cause that just tops it off in shitsville.

but one good thing about going home. i get to see my doggies, my wonderful gorgeous amazing astounding perfect to perfection beyond perfection dogs. Puma and Samantha. they are greyhounds. Pumas ass is bald (its fun to slap), she acts like a dinosaur, she freaks out when you touch her feet when she is sleeping, and has diabetes so she has to get 2 shots everyday. Samantha has one eye that is bigger than the other, is the most accident prone living thing i have ever seen, puts her mouth around your hand to greet you, and gets very very nervous if you touch her butt (but only when shes lying down.) they are magnificant. every dog should aspire to be like them.
actually there are many good things about going home. i finally get to see color again, i get my cell phone back, i get to sleep in my room with my music on my stereo, and people amuze me over there so i wont have to spend so much dam time on the internet. instead i will spend it on my phone.
okay, time to go mosquito hunting.
peace from the east....

i would like to take this opportunity to formally extend an invitation to my dear and darling friend katy, or as some of you may know her, ryn, to join me in writing your favorite web site. i have confidence that someday soon we will in fact be the worlds favorite web site. you see katy and i were born for fame and fortune, and this is just the beginning….

so how about it katy?

i received some input that the font on this page is too small. on my computer it perfectly large enough, so if anyone has any thoughts on the topic, please let me know at zraine@hotmail.com

so i think i have discovered the most significant difference between the east and west. that is to say, if i actually am on this planet. this is not just another paranoid delusion, but on my flight over here the airline insisted that we keep all the windows closed, so i thought we may have traveled through a black hole or something and landed on a different planet. why else would they make us keep the windows closed? on my flight back I am going to make certain that I get a window seat whether they like it or not and look out the window the entire way home just to make sure they didn’t try to slip something past me. but getting back to the difference thing… the difference is the color. now this is subtle difference, but i like to think i am a little more intuitive on this subject then most. in the west i am consistently shocked by the intensity of color. the sky is too blue for blue to recognize. the trees and plants are greener than green. the sidewalk is grayer than grey. the light is brighter than bright. the shit is browner than brown. but in my experience both china and korea have a sort of haze covering everything. sure, the sky is blue, but nothing close to the blue i am used to. and ya, the trees are green, but they would shrivel in contrast to our trees. and i wont even go into the difference in feces.
so, whats the deal yo? am i on another planet which would more than explain the difference in color? am i starting to loose my vision? is something wrong with the light here? or are we just especially fortunate in the color department in the west?
something to think about….

let me tell you about my little adventure with ATM machines over here. now, as some of you might know, most banks are state run and owned in china. because of this, most are not compatible with American bank or credit cards. so in order to get money out, I have to go all the way to the world trade center in Beijing to use one of the only banks in china that is compatible. so I went to do this the other day. unfortunately, the machine came to the conclusion that I was using the wrong pin number (which I wasn’t), and decided to keep my card in its money filled gut. now my card is my only means of getting money here, so I had to get it out. this meant going to find the bank that owned the machine. once we did that I had to try to explain to a staff person what had happened while in the grips of the largest language barrier I have ever experienced. I tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and sort of half failed which was good enough for me. so we brought the staff person back to the machine, she retrieved the card, then went into a long conversation with some people standing by about how to make sure I was the right person who owned the card. she consulted several different people to match up the name on my ID and my card. how many people does it take to match up a name with the same name? more than one apparently. so I got the card back. unfortunately the machine did something to my card, and now my card wont work in any ATM machines. so I have hardly any money for the remaining 5 days I am here. not that I have that much to begin with. which brings me to my next topic.

the are you special enough to sponsor zoe financially fund!!!!!!!
anyone can aply, but space is limited so act now. send all applications to zraine@hotmail.com

oh man I just have to tell you this story cause I was talking about shit earlier. today I was walking in downtown (very crowded) Beijing, which is a pretty nice area. next to mcdonalds, I spotted a girl about the age of 12 squating on a piece of newspaper and pooping right there in front of the store. not to say that china is dirty or anything, in fact it has been surprisingly clean. but man, taking a poop in front of a restaurant is a little uncalled for. another thing- just so you know- the mcdonalds and KFC are the most happening places to be in chinese culture.

last thing, have you ever tried sour skittles? I opened a bag today and started eating it thinking it would be regular skittles and my lord that stuff is sour when you aren’t expecting it.

i think i managed to get the spelling of my blog title fixed. i also noticed that my last entry was dated on the wrong day and time. so i tried to change my time zone but im not sure which one im in so i think i got it wrong by one hour. just in case you are interested.

so this is my first entry on my very own blogger. i noticed i was clever enough to mis-spell the title, a great example of how this will probably turn out. mis-spelled title. unfortunatly, this will probably be a short blog because i dont have a computer or computer access where i live and its hard enough for me to check my email every month or so, so i doubt i will be spending much time on this.
i am writing from half way across the world from my home right now. beijing, china. so for all you in the americas, its thursday, but its friday for me! pretty cool huh.